Over the course of more than 50 years, the outstanding tropical drinks at The Mai-Kai restaurant have proved to be both enduring and mysterious. And some of the biggest mysteries involve those “lost classics” that no longer appear on the menu, such as the Island Queen.
I thought I had this mystery solved, posting this review last week declaring the drink a rare original concoction by the late, great Mai-Kai mixologist Mariano Licudine. But it appears I was out-sleuthed by another master, Tiki bar historian and author Jeff “Beachbum” Berry. As the Bum correctly pointed out soon after I published the original Island Queen review, it bears a striking resemblance to Don the Beachcomber’s Queen’s Road Cocktail, which appears in his excellent 2007 book, Sippin’ Safari. (Be sure to read the chapter on Licudine and The Mai-Kai.)
So after further research (see ancestor recipe below), the genealogy of the Island Queen has been updated to include it on the long list of Mai-Kai cocktails that are retooled versions of classics created in the 1930s and ’40s by Tiki bar pioneer Donn Beach, aka Don the Beachcomber. The updated Mai-Kai family tree now lists a total of 40 drinks (including 31 on the current menu) that can be traced back to Beach, who originally hired Licudine at his Hollywood, Calif., flagship restaurant back in 1939. Prior to that, Licudine spent five years as a private chauffeur and personal mixologist for the legendary Laurel and Hardy comedy team.
The concept of a “Polynesian” cocktail is somewhat of a misnomer. While most tropical drinks have names and imagery that recall Polynesia, most are actually Caribbean rum concoctions reinvented by American restaurateurs. One notable exception is the distinctive Doctor Funk, also sometimes known as Dr. Fong.
The real Doctor Funk (from The Cyclopedia of Samoa, via TikiCentral.com)
Doctor Funk was an actual person as well as a real Polynesian drink. Born in 1844 in Germany, Dr. Bernhard Funk migrated to Samoa around 1881 and was reputedly the first medical practitioner in the capital city. He became friends with Scottish novelist Robert Louis Stevenson (author of Treasure Island and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde) and was the bedside doctor when Stevenson died in 1894 in Samoa.
Dr. Funk was not only a skilled doctor but also a mixologist of some note. The Doctor Funk was a notorious drink that became known throughout the region. It was mentioned by travel writer Frederick O’Brien (1869-1932) in his books White Shadows in the South Seas (1919) and Mystic Isles of the South Seas (1921). The latter calls the drink “a portion of absinthe, a dash of grenadine – a syrup of the pomegranate fruit, the juice of two limes, and half a pint of siphon water.” It was apparently served by the doctor as a “medicinal tonic.”
From a Don the Beachcomber menu.
Dr. Funk thrived in Samoa, marrying the daughter of a chief, but health problems caused him to return to Germany, where he died in 1911. After his death, a granite stone was placed in his honor on the shore of the mysterious Lake Lanoto’o in Samoa, where Funk had built a health resort. The secluded lake still contains goldfish, illegally introduced to Samoa by Dr. Funk. For a lot more on the life and times of Bernhard Funk, check out this great research on Tiki Central by Sven Kirsten (bigbrotiki), Tom Duncan (TikiTomD), and many others.
A drink this legendary and rooted in the South Pacific was perfect fodder for Tiki bar pioneers Donn Beach (Don the Beachcomber) and Victor Bergeron (Trader Vic’s). Both created Doctor Funk cocktails in the 1930s and ’40s with pretty much the same flavor profile. But over the years there became so many different versions by Beach, Bergeron and many others, it became impossible to pinpoint a definitive “original” version.
The Dr. Fong cocktail returned to The Mai-Kai in September 2016 during a special event celebrating the release of the book ‘Mai-Kai: History and Mystery of the Iconic Tiki Restaurant.’ (Photo by Hurricane Hayward)
Doctor Funk also inspired variations with names such as Dr. Fong and Dr. Wong. Many of these became synonymous with the (now somewhat politically incorrect) Fu Manchu-style Tiki mug that was widely produced in the mid-century. Restaurants across the country simply invented their own drinks called Doctor Funk or Dr. Fong to go into the mug (see “bilge” at the very bottom of this review).
When The Mai-Kai opened in 1956, the menu included a Dr. Fong cocktail based on one of the Don the Beachcomber versions of Doctor Funk. This is where bartender Mariano Licudine worked for nearly 20 years, mixing the drinks that became the template for most of the original 1956-57 Mai-Kai menu.
Luckily for us, Tiki historian and author Jeff “Beachbum” Berry has over the past 15 years decade published two of Beach’s Doctor Funk recipes, which I’ve included below. In 2016, thanks to another author, guests at The Mai-Kai were finally able to taste the authentic Dr. Fong after an absence of more than 40 years.
The special event also featured several other long-lost cocktails (Hanalei Bay and the Demerara Float) plus two days of gatherings of Mai-Kai enthusiasts from across the country.
Dr. Fong returned again in August 2017 as part of The Mai-Kai’s monthly Flashback Friday promotion, including a special new recipe. See more below under the Tribute recipe notes.
Some lost Mai-Kai cocktails are easier to trace than others. Even though the drink known as Hanalei Bay disappeared from the menu when the United States was still embroiled in the Vietnam War, its legacy is easy to figure out. This small but powerful drink was an obvious take on Don the Beachcomber’s Montego Bay.
Looking at old Mai-Kai and Don the Beachcomber menus, the resemblance both in name and menu artwork is obvious. Named for the second largest city in Jamaica, the Montego Bay cocktail dates back to the early days of Tiki. We’ve included a vintage recipe below, thanks to the research of tropical drink historian and author Jeff “Beachbum” Berry.
Montego Bay was very similar to the Navy Grog and Zombie, also invented by Donn Beach (aka Don the Beachcomber). All were re-invented by mixologist Mariano Licudine when The Mai-Kai opened in 1956. Licudine spent decades behind the bar at Don the Beachcomber restaurants in Los Angeles and Chicago before he was lured away to Fort Lauderdale. His re-creations of Beachcomber classics usually included a tweak or two, and the Montego Bay is no exception.
Hanalei Bay came out of retirement at The Mai-Kai in September 2016 for a special party marking the release of ‘Mai-Kai: History and Mystery of the Iconic Tiki Restaurant’ by Tim ‘Swanky’ Glazner. (Photo by Hurricane Hayward)
It was one of the last remaining “lost” recipes (along with Dr. Fong) that had not been featured at special events over the past several years. I had almost given up hope of ever tasting it when The Mai-Kai’s general manager, Kern Mattei, revealed during the summer of 2016 that both had turned up in an old Mariano Licudine recipe book. It was great to take a trip back in time while enjoying the book release party with Tikiphiles and Mai-Kai fans who had traveled across the country for the event. [More photos on Tiki Central]
Glazner gave a guided tour of The Mai-Kai’s dining rooms, plus a special on-stage presentation featuring stories and photos from the book and his archives. The video clip of Johnny Carson enjoying a Mystery Drink on The Tonight Show is always a highlight (see past coverage). Be sure to pick up a copy of the book to check out the stories and more than 400 images, many revealed for the first time. You can find it in The Mai-Kai gift shop and other brick-and-mortar locations. It’s also available online via Amazon.
The living dead are enjoying an unprecedented renaissance. From the excellent AMC miniseries The Walking Dead (based on the Robert Kirkman comic book series), to a never-ending stream of books, to “zombie walk” events springing up during Halloween season, it’s clear that we’re fascinated with corpses rising from the dead like never before.
All of this flesh-eating hoopla has done little, however, to popularize a much less trendy and much more misunderstood Zombie: The infamous tropical drink that rose to infamy in the 1930s and was for decades perhaps the world’s most well-known cocktail. True to its name, the classic drink was shrouded in mystery, later becoming one of the most butchered recipes in cocktail history.
But several people and places have kept this powerful rum concoction alive and kicking, and to them we raise a hearty Zombie glass in tribute this Halloween:
The Impatient Virgin makes its return after decades in retirement at the Lost Cocktails Party in June 2013. (Photo by Hurricane Hayward)
When the original review of this “lost cocktail” was posted, it was just the second in a series that I hoped would shed just a little bit of light on some classic drinks that were retired from The Mai-Kai’s menu over the years and largely forgotten. Little did I know that nine months later, the light would be shining brightly on this and two other recipes returned from the vault for a special event at the conclusion of The Hukilau 2013.
More than three years later, at The Mai Kai’s 60th anniversary party, the same three cocktails returned from the vault once again to be enjoyed by a new generation of enthusiasts who may not even have been born the last time they appeared on a menu.
* See the 60th anniversary “lost cocktails” menu
Mai-Kai general manager Kern Mattei, who worked behind the bar back in the 1980s and is familiar with many of the drinks before they were retired, was the driving force behind the return of these vintage recipes. Along with the current menu recipes, he keeps retired recipes under lock and key in his office and ensures their quality and authenticity. When it came time to select three drinks for the 2013 party, he committed to two of the previously revealed concoctions (Last Rites and Demerara Float) plus one newly revealed tipple.
The Impatient Virgin is makes a second return appearance in December 2016 during The Mai-Kai’s 60th anniversary celebration. (Photo by Hurricane Hayward)
Seeking a mild option, Mattei suggested the Liquid Gold or Impatient Virgin, and he prepared samples of both. We were both impressed with the flavor-packed Virgin and went with this slightly reconfigured version for the party. See the tasting notes and tribute recipe below for more info.
Like many of The Mai-Kai’s legendary tropical drinks (31 on the current menu and nine lost classics), the Impatient Virgin can be traced back to Tiki bar pioneer Donn Beach, aka Don the Beachcomber. His Vicious Virgin was a staple at his chain of restaurants in the years prior to The Mai-Kai’s birth. As has been well documented on this blog, one of Beach’s top bartenders, Mariano Licudine, was hired away to The Mai-Kai, and the rest is history.
Licudine took Beach’s classic recipes and ran with them. Many stayed virtually the same, but he also did a lot of tinkering with ingredients and flavors. He also tinkered with the names, documented by Tiki drink historian Jeff “Beachbum” Berry in his definitive book on the heyday of tropical mixology, Sippin’ Safari.
Mariano’s son, Ron, told Berry about how the task of naming the drinks became a family affair. Before The Mai-Kai opened, the Licudine family gathered in the living room to come up with new (often better) names for the Beachcomber drinks that the master mixologist had reconfigured (and usually reinvigorated). “They changed the Vicious Virgin into the Impatient Virgin, the Cobra’s Fang into the Cobra’s Kiss, and the Never Say Die into the Oh So Deadly,” Berry wrote.
Most of the names were improved, with an obvious attempt to be more tourist-friendly at the fledgling Fort Lauderdale restaurant. The inspiration of those names remains a secret of the Licudine clan who gathered for those early brain-storming sessions.
However, one name in particular remained a favorite of Mariano’s son, Ron Licudine, who elaborated on the history of the Impatient Virgin in an interview for the PBS documentary Plastic Paradise: A Swingin’ Trip Through America’s Polynesian Obsession. Coincidentally, the film premiered at The Mai-Kai during The Hukilau 2013, just before the Lost Cocktails Party. Sadly, two weeks after The Hukilau, Ron Licudine lost a long battle with cancer at age 69.
The namesake of the drink, Licudine relates in the film with a smile, was actually a cousin in the Philippines named Virginia. We won’t speculate on the degree of her patience, but we certainly appreciate the purity and virtue of this lost-but-not-forgotten classic cocktail.
**************************
IMPATIENT VIRGIN
Okole Maluna Society review and rating
Size: Medium
Potency: Mild
Flavor profile: Intense sweet and sour juices, falernum, and a hint of gold rum.
Review: A tantalizing combination of juices, syrups and rum with a distinctive Mai-Kai flair.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars (see how it ranks). If this were on today’s menu, it would rank near the top of the mild drinks, just below Oh So Deadly.
Ancestry: Based on Don the Beachcomber’s Vicious Virgin, the Impatient Virgin was on the original 1956-57 Mai-Kai cocktail menu and spotted as recently as the mid-1980s. At this point, however, drinks in small cocktail glasses were quickly losing popularity, a factor that might have had something to do with the Impatient Virgin’s demise.
Bilge: The Vicious Virgin is one of a handful of Donn Beach originals available on the current menu at the Don the Beachcomber location in Huntington Beach, Calif. There was also a special mug made for the drink, designed by Crazy Al Evans, manufactured by Tiki Farm, and released in 2011.
Agree or disagree with this review? Share your comments below!
**************************
Don the Beachcomber’s Vicious Virgin by The Atomic Grog. (Photo by Hurricane Hayward, July 2012)
* 3/4 ounce fresh lime juice
* 1/2 ounce Cointreau
* 1/4 ounce falernum
* 1/2 ounce Puerto Rican dark rum
* 1 ounce Virgin Islands light rum
Pour into blender. Add a handful of cracked ice. Blend for 15 seconds at high speed. Serve in a thin 6-ounce champagne glass that has been frozen in a deep freezer.
Don’t confuse this drink with Vicious Virgin #2, a tequila drink featured in Beachbum Berry Remixed.
Tasting notes
I went with Bacardi 8 and Cruzan Estate as my rums. My falernum choice, as usual, was Fee Brothers.
The result is quite sour and tart, with a nice kick from the aged Bacardi. The absence of a overtly sweet syrup makes for a drink that’s on the sour side. It’s similar to a classic sour frozen daiquiri, Hemingway style.
**************************
Tribute to The Mai-Kai’s Impatient Virgin, v.2 – circa 2013-2016 By The Atomic Grog
Impatient Virgin tribute by The Atomic Grog. (Photo by Hurricane Hayward, January 2017)
* 3/4 ounce fresh lime juice
* 3/4 ounce fresh orange juice
* 1/4 ounce falernum (Fee Brothers)
* 1/4 ounce grenadine (Fee Brothers)
* 3/4 ounce Appleton Special gold Jamaican rum
* 3/4 ounce white Virgin Islands rum
* 1/2 teaspoon fassionola (see below)
Pulse blend with 1 cup of crushed ice for 3-5 seconds. Serve in a small rocks glass. Or strain into a small martini glass or cocktail coupe. Garnish with a optional maraschino cherry.
Notes and tips for home mixologists
The Impatient Virgin was originally served in a small cocktail glass, just like its ancestor. According to Mattei, it even had the same maraschino cherry that settled in the bottom of the glass (see Vicious Virgin artwork above). When it was first resurrected from the lost cocktails graveyard in 2013, it was served in a rocks glass with ice (see photos above and below).
But in December 2016, we were pleased to see it return to its old form as a strained cocktail, served in a small martini glass. A small detail, but much appreciated. Otherwise, the drink seemed to stay pretty much the same. It’s a rich and sweet cocktial, with hints of gold rum offsetting the juices and syrups.
Prior to its 2013 appearance, we posted this a tribute recipe that isn’t too far off the latest version above …
Tribute to The Mai-Kai’s Impatient Virgin, v.1 By The Atomic Grog
Impatient Virgin tribute, v.1. (Photo by Hurricane Hayward, September 2012)
* 3/4 ounce fresh lime juice
* 1/2 ounce fresh orange juice
* 1/4 ounce falernum (Fee Brothers)
* 1/2 ounce Appleton Estate Extra dark Jamaican rum
* 1 ounce Appleton Special gold Jamaican rum
* 1/2 teaspoon fassionola (see below)
Blend with 1/2 cup of crushed ice until smooth. Serve in a chilled cocktail glass and garnish with a maraschino cherry. Wahine optional.
Notes and tips for home mixologists
In both tributes, I went with Appleton Jamaican rum, which is used in many of the restaurant’s current cocktails. It gives the drink a richer rum flavor to accent the sour notes.
The Impatient Virgin first appeared at The Mai-Kai’s Lost Cocktails Party in June 2013. (Photo by Hurricane Hayward)
The addition of both grenadine and fassionola give the drink a pink hue and intense sweetness. The original Impatient Virgin was indeed a “girly drink,” Mattei confirmed, and it has a distinctive color. Fassionola, an obscure bar syrup from the early days of tropical mixology, is used here much the same way as the similarly colored Tahitian Breeze. Used in small doses, it adds color but doesn’t alter the flavor.
Fassionola substitute: The intense red and fruity syrup is an old-school ingredient that’s rarely used today. The Atomic Grog endorses the Jonathan English brand that we found on eBay. But an easier solution is to mix equal parts of a dark, rich grenadine (Fee Brothers does the trick) and Smucker’s Red Raspberry Syrup.
Both fassionola and grenadine are necessary to achieve the full, rich flavor – much like the Cobra’s Kiss. In fact, this could be considered a mild version of that drink with that same combination of falernum, grenadine-fassionola, OJ and lime used to great effect.
Was the Impatient Virgin too similar to those other, more popular, cocktails to survive a menu purge in the 1980s? Perhaps. We’re just grateful it returned, undefiled, from the ranks of The Mai-Kai’s long-lost cocktails.
The Mai-Kai in Fort Lauderdale, one of the best places in the world to sip rum and tropical cocktails, will be the perfect site for a special tasting event on Thursday, Sept. 27.
From 7 to 9 p.m. in the legendary Polynesian restaurant’s Molokai lounge, guests will sample two top-shelf rums, served both neat and in vintage cocktails. The featured rums are Fortuna 8 from Nicaragua, and Dos Maderas PX from Barbados and Guyana. Of course, you also have the option of sampling other selections from The Mai-Kai’s premium rum list and acclaimed assortment of nearly 50 classic cocktails.
Presented by Robert A. Burr, organizer of the annual Miami Rum Renaissance Festival, this exclusive opportunity is limited to the first 40 guests. The cost is $20 per person in advance and $25 at the door. The price includes the four drinks: One cocktail and one neat featuring each of the two rums. Click here to make advance payment and reservations. Click here for the Facebook event.
Most fans of the spectacular tropical drinks at The Mai-Kai in Fort Lauderdale are content with the current menu’s 47 cocktails, a majority of them classic concoctions that have withstood the test of time for more than 65 years. But The Atomic Grog can’t get enough of The Mai-Kai, so we like to crank up our flux capacitor and go back in time to dig up a few “lost cocktails” that disappeared from the menu over the years.
A classic returns: The Demerara Float in March 2013. (Photo by Christie J. White)
When the Demerara Cocktail came out of retirement in August 2012, it gave us the inspiration to dig deeper into the history and explore some of the other long-gone drinks. Here’s the cool part: They’re not really long gone. The old recipes are still kept in The Mai-Kai back offices, safely under lock and key.
So after the return of the Demerara Cocktail, the next logical step was to revisit its sister drink, the Demerara Float. It took more than six months, but our wish was granted unexpectedly in early in 2013, when the photo above popped up on the Facebook news feed of The Hukilau organizer Christie “Tiki Kiliki” White. It looked like a Shark Bite with its Appleton rum floater. But this was no Shark Bite. The rum was noticeably darker. Could it be?
There are few drinking vessels with the mystique of The Mai-Kai’s famous Mystery Bowl. The iconic communal cocktail popularized at the Fort Lauderdale Polynesian palace has been celebrated for a half-century by everyone from Johnny Carson to today’s Tiki revivalists.
A Mystery Bowl for sale in The Mai-Kai's gift shop, September 2012. (Photo by Hurricane Hayward)
Sure, there’s nothing like the unique experience of enjoying this giant drink with friends in the The Mai-Kai’s hallowed bar and dining rooms. At the sound of a gong, the distinctive bowl is delivered by a sarong-clad Mystery Girl, who does a traditional Polynesian dance and rewards the lucky recipient with a lei. The drink itself remains a mystery, a giant 50-something-ounce concoction of fruit juices, rum, and other liquors.
* More on the history of the Mystery Drink in our Mai-Kai Cocktail Guide
But true Mai-Kai nerds long for an authentic Mystery Bowl of their own. The older version made by Dynasty and the current version made by Tiki Farm occasionally pop up on eBay for more than $100. And they also appear in The Mai-Kai gift shop from time to time (see photo above), typically priced just below the century mark.
Last week’s special “Best of 2012” issue of Broward / Palm Beach New Times recognized many of the area’s coolest places to eat, drink and hang out after dark. Among the winners are several Atomic Grog favorites worth noting:
Kapow! Noodle Bar in Boca Raton. (Photo by Hurricane Hayward, December 2011)
“Best New Restaurant” and “Best Happy Hour” in Palm Beach County both went to Kapow! Noodle Bar in Boca Raton, which we reviewed in depth back in December. We loved the craft cocktails and small bites on the inventive menu and have been eager to return ever since. The latest recognition just gives us more reason to move it up on our bucket list.
